Long story short: I did not run 26.2 miles yesterday at San Francisco Marathon due to debilitating leg pain. Had there not been a half marathon finish line at the 13.1 mile marker, I would have had to take a true DNF.
On Saturday, the day of the expo and ambassador activities at Fort Mason, I led the shake out run with Bart Yasso (more on that later this week) and the nine minute/mile pace I ran felt much faster and more difficult than it should have been. Having received a massage on Monday, I thought my legs, particularly my IT bands near my knees, glutes, and quads would feel good as new, but that wasn’t the case. After running three miles, I worked at the 2015 registration booth for a few hours before heading home. I spent the rest of the evening stretching, foam rolling, and drinking electrolytes, but I went to sleep worried about my right leg.
On race morning, we arrived at the start line with a pacing plan: we would run 10 minute miles unless we slowed down running uphill or sped up downhill. Once we started, I felt the lack of range of motion in my right leg affecting my gait almost immediately. Running felt way more difficult than it should have after two weeks of tapering.
After the bridge, I knew I was in trouble when running downhill past Baker Beach felt worse than running uphill. Every step hurt, and I started feeling like I was dragging my right leg behind me every step of the way. Jesse asked me repeatedly if I wanted to stop at the halfway point, to which I said no way, I’m not going to fall short of my goal. After passing the halfway point in Golden Gate Park, Jesse stopped and asked me again, and I said no, but when we started up to run again, the pain in my leg made me realize that the right decision was to stop. I did not want to risk injury or sidelining myself for several weeks all for this race. At the halfway point in years past, I felt warmed up and ready to run 13 more miles. This was not the case yesterday. We ran towards the finish line feeling completely defeated; the walk through the finisher’s chute was anti-climactic and upsetting. While the half marathoners celebrated their accomplishments, I felt like a loser.
The worst part of my first DNF was disappointing Jesse. He really wanted to achieve his goal of completing an Ironman this weekend, especially after his second place age group finish at Vineman Aquabike (his second podium at a Vineman race this season). A half marathon is not a distance to scoff at, but having been pacing for the full, we ended up running the slowest half ever.
I think I set myself up for defeat when I wanted an A-race on my training calendar, after I decided to not train for Vineman. That race became the SF Marathon for me in May, despite not running farther than a 13-miler or 25 miles/week for almost a year. I thought I could get away with a short training cycle without any real base building or step down weeks, but I was wrong.
Something Matt Dixon said during talk at a Runner’s Mind really resonated with me: some athletes are resilient and some are fragile, and you have to identify which kind of athlete you need and train accordingly. This race taught me many lessons, and I know better what I can and cannot get away with. Living with Jesse, who is incredibly resilient and needs little recovery time, it’s easy for me to get trapped comparing myself to him or thinking I can do what he does, when the reality is I’m much more delicate and need more sleep and rest days and longer recovery periods in between hard training sessions.
Racing and training is a learning process, and I’m trying my best to accept this setback and realize this experience will only help me be better prepared for future endeavors.
Thanks for sharing this story, Taylor – I love your thoughtful reflection and positive overall attitude. And yeah, “comparing mind” tends to get us all into trouble. 🙂 Hugs and best wishes for your next race!
Thanks Rachel! Pleasure to meet you yesterday.
It sounds like you made the right decision, as hard as I’m sure it was at the time! The fragile/resilient thing is really interesting to me. I think I’ve had times when I’m more resilient and times when I’m more fragile, but I haven’t yet cracked the code to understanding which is which or why. It was great to meet you briefly this weekend and I hope to see you out there somewhere (maybe with GGTC?) soon!
Interesting! I think it’s more of a scale with shades of grey rather than black and white and definitely dependent on the situation. Great to meet you and hope to see you again soon!
I’ve had to cut a full down to a half for fuel issues, and it’s so hard – I think most of us can understand that! You’ll get back to where you need to be, and your positive attitude will help. Interesting about the difference in athletes. I know people who do Ironman races like 5k’s and they never get hurt, and then there’s some people who can’t get through a half marathon training cycle without issues. It’s crazy!
It’s crazy how different people are despite all being the same species! It is so hard, thank you for the comment! 🙂
OH man, I’m so sorry to hear about your disappointing race. I was expecting a glowing post about how you crushed your previous time. I hope your disappointment is short lived. Sometimes we have to make really hard decisions, but you did make the right one and you’re better off for it, even though it doesn’t feel like that right now. Chin up! 🙂
Thank you! I was also hoping for a glowing post. Hopefully I can deliver on that soon!
It’s so hard not to compare yourself to others. It sounds like you made the right decision for you and that you’re pulling gold nuggets out of a rough day. Be proud of yourself for all of that and the completion of a half, which is also tremendous by any standard.
Thank you! It’s easy to get bogged down by what you expect to happen vs. what actually happens.
thanks for sharing. to me, every race is a unique point in time. the weather, the training that i completed beforehand, the body at that specific time. i try to set my expectations for that day on running the best i can that day, with not much comparisons to other days and races. and it is what it is. Sorry for jesse’s IT pains. joe
So true. Thanks Joe!
It’s always difficult to cut things short when you have a plan and goal in mind. It’s was good to see you on Saturday to chat and share laughs. Also was one of the highlights of my Sunday morning to see you at the start! Keep going and hope to see you soon!
Thanks Trish! Loved seeing you too!
I feel so bad for you. I know it’s harder to make the decision to stop early than to finish. You did the right thing because getting really hurt would set you back for weeks or months and it’s not worth it. You have a lifetime of races ahead of you! I’m fragile too, that’s why I don’t do marathons anymore. I love running too much and they set me back for way too long.
Thanks, Angie! I totally agree, there’s no need to rush races if it means hurting myself. I really like your sentiment – I also love running and don’t want any setbacks!
Aww, bummer! But way to get through the half! I know how painful IT can be. I hope you’re able to take some time off and get healthy. And yes, learning from it is the most important thing!
Thank you! No running this week. 🙂
I’m delicate too so I can relate to that – don’t worry, it sucks now but you’ll be back and better than ever in no time!!
Thanks Jason! Delicate runners unite!
You made the right decision. You’ll be all the stronger for your next race.
Thanks! I’m hoping so.
That is racing. You can’t let it get you down. The next time you do one, the feeling at the end will all so much sweeter
So true, racing is different every time. All a learning experience!
Very smart decision although I am sure it was very difficult. I think you will be so happy with this later down the line. Thanks for sharing!
It was difficult but definitely the right decision! Thank you!
You said it perfectly! I love the end about, what type of athlete are you? I am the latter as well. I struggled hard training for this half marathon with someone who was much more intense than I can be. I as well, had terrible knee pain (which someone suggested to me was IT band pain) I cried, limping into the finish line. But, it taught me so much. I know, based on my first 7 miles of the half I would have finished within the time limit I set for myself. But, by mile 8 I could hardly move my leg to walk. The medic table gave me some tylenol on that same hill you mentioned! Which enabled me to hobble in. The downhills were much harder on me than the uphill, also, which leads me to believe I had probably the same problem. I never allowed myself to really recover properly.
Sometimes we have to fall short of our goals, but we gain something far more important. I now know what I need to do for the next time. And, I don’t feel as if I failed, because a physical problem during a race was out of our control. Whereas, a mental one wouldn’t have been. So, it’s not your spirit that didn’t finish.
It was a beautiful course, and I thought it was so well organized, did you?
It sounds like we suffered through similar problems! I definitely feel less bad than if I had just given up mentally. It’s a gorgeous route!
That’s such a bummer! Being able to make that call took a lot of courage and and you’ll be back better and stronger on the next one!
Thanks!! It was tough but I think I made the right call!!
I’m sorry you didn’t have the race you wanted, but you definitely made the right decision! It’s crazy how much each race (either bad or good) is such a learning experience. You’ll get em next time! And that quote is a really good thing for me to remember too… I’m a fragile runner as well and shouldn’t compare myself to other, more resilient types.
So true, each race is a unique experience that holds its own lesson! It is something good to remember. Us fragile runners shouldn’t follow the same plans as people who can run hard even days a week without getting hurt.
Disappointing for sure but good for you to listen to your body. Sending you all the very best for the future.
Thank you, Sue!
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So sorry to hear Taylor, and I hope you heal fast. It sounds like you made the right decision in the end to listen to the body. 😦
Thanks Paulette! Good to see you this weekend!
I can imagine how hard this decision was to make, but I’m so happy you listened to your body and chose to pull out. Rich and I both saw several people collapsed on the ground in the last 2 miles of the race-some were taken away in wheelchairs! It’s just not worth it. You are absolutely right-running is a learning process! Figuring out what your body needs only comes with time, experience, trial and error
Thanks Jamie! That’s so scary – definitely not encouraging sights at the end of a race. There will be more races! Definitely a learning experience.
Oh Taylor I am sorry!! I am sure that was a difficult decision. When your body is not there or does not want to be there it is hard! I am sure your next race will be way better!!! There is always next year for TSFM!!
Thanks Leslie! It was difficult indeed, but it is not the end of the world!
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Thanks for sharing your story with us. It’s reassuring to hear that other runners struggle with training and racing on occasion, too.
It definitely is reassuring to know you’re not alone. Thanks Katy!
Ahhh man! I’m so sorry about your leg pain. You definitely made the right decision. I needed this read today because I am 12 weeks away from Marine Corp marathon tomorrow with a newly put together collarbone! No running for me right now — in fact — for the last 20 days since I broke it. So– reading your blog reminded me, that I’m a lot like you. I need more base miles. I shouldn’t just jump right in thinking my previous training will carry me through. I simply need more … Time. I am excited to follow your next race!! Heal well!!! xo
Wow, you broke your collarbone! That’s crazy.
It’s so important to build a base for us delicate people. I definitely need a lot more time to build and time to rest. Heal well too!! I’m excited to read about your adventure.
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